Drawing attention to your resume is usually a good thing, but be mindful of spelling and grammatical mistakes, otherwise you might find yourself conveying the wrong message. Don’t let this happen to you.
“A marketing professional with a “never settle for the best” attitude”
- well I guess there is always settling for less than best, or perhaps even mediocre. After all, if you’re the best at something, then where’s your incentive to do better.
“Working at **** airline, I gained experience managing cabin crew in a pressurized environment”
- guess managing in a pressurized environment designed to mimic earth’s environment is more difficult than managing on the ground.
“Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
- spell check doesn’t catch everything.
“1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”
- this one might actually be accurate, but I can’t help but wonder if this woman is somehow serving cocktails to fighter pilots.
Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
- typos on your resume can be a killer….in this case, literally.
“Analytical & Problem Solving skills * As a child, I always enjoyed building jigsaw puzzles and was always determined to find the missing piece.”
- I would highly recommend deferring from stating accomplishments that would have been impressive if you were 3 years old.
“Please note from my CV I have 6 years buying and negotiating and Sock-Control experience”
- I wonder if this is a typo, or if this person really does have excellent sock control. One will never know.
“Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
- turns out this service was a website to check on the well-being of relatives, but this probably wasn’t the most elegant way to put it.
“2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
- pretty sure that referring to people as vegetables is not going to land you your dream job.
“I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
- pretty sure this wasn’t the response the employer was looking for.
“I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
- perhaps a dictionary is in order for this person.
“Target Position : Misssionary”
- I prefer not to comment on this one.
You can find more funny resume one-liners at http://resumehell.blogspot.com/
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